Thursday, January 26, 2017

Talented 10th and the Ignorant 5th: A Message to the "Woke"

by Khalil Hamiduddin 

A Message to the “woke” activists post inauguration

But first, to the uninitiated: 

Woke, as defined by the urban dictionary, means "Being aware… or knowing whats going on in the community. Here's the term used in a convenional conversation:

Hey Johnny, did you vote today?
Hell no Mikey!  I'm already woke!  You know they already picked Hillary!

Well, a funny thing happened to the Illuminati's centuries old plan to rule the world (that they somehow already rule) You see, about a week ago, the internet troll, who much like many of our sweet, loving grandparents that believe every email they receive  may or may not have originated from a Nigerian prince ,was sworn in as president in front of a crowd of dozens... (see how “alternative facts” can work ?)

There were a lot of reason for this and without being bogged down by facts, in the post fact era of truthiness i.e. ...It's true because I feel its true (Thanks Colbert), many people thought "Hey, let's give the guy, with the emotional stability of a preteen, the most important job on the planet." That's right, now we all have monitor duty as we await for the asteroid to hit!

The Big One is Ch-NAH!!!

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!!  From the two years worth of anecdotal conversations I've had in my political and non political circles, the only people who don’t seem to be preoccupied by this incoming asteroid are the  indifferent, those who have been clamoring for another mass extinction, andddddd "The Woke"!

Hold on to your butts...Cause Trump has mine!!

Apparently, Obama just wasn’t good enough. He made us believe in hope and promised us change!  He said "Yes we can" and guess what?  "Yes we can" turned into "Yes he did"! Add some infomercials, red hats, and unwanted groping and, well you know how the story ends: the internet troll captures the flag!

I know, Barack had the tendency to come off  like that uncle who moved out the hood, discovered the joys  of kale smoothies, from the latest vegan restaurant of course, and  only listened to Ted talks, modern jazz and NPR radio. Not to mention, he continues to shout from the rooftops that The Wire is the greatest show ever! (First of all the wire is the greatest show in history and anyone who hasn’t watched it shame on you). And perhaps he may have lectured you a little too much on how you dressed and spoke . And lovingly questions why your children's names  have more syllables than you have zeros in your bank account. And remember that one time you were whooped so bad,for smoking weed none the less, that you believed that a reality TV star

And now, you're so pissed off , you consistently walk around ,with  Resting. B**** Face, shouting **** the world!  The thing is, he understood and worked within the confines of an office that forty three other men held  before him.  But that doesn't matter to you Woke folks because it solidifies your beliefs about “Amerikkka”! But now what? That’s the 4 years worth of lost incremental progress we have to face now.

The internet troll has its' finger on the proverbial button. Just sit back and think about what that means. Outside of a few photo ops ,with some thirsty unremarkable nEGROES (little “n” for emphasis... look it up) at the golden drenched NYC palace...what has been proven or accomplished? What's the end game of all of this?

You hated Obama for making you believe then you hated Hillary because for twenty-five years, you were programmed to hate her. You may be happy today, sitting in your Bernie shirt with your Che poster on the wall shouting "This is our day that the people will rise up and break away from their shackles", but as the old lady says in the commercial "That’s not how this works, that's not how any of this works!" It’s the same cycle: liberals start to fix what conservatives break and we continue on our hamster wheel .So sometimes, we got social security, medicare and Obamacare incremental imperfect solutions to large problems and other times, the asteroid hits, and well, you know the rest.

The the thing is, this is a fight with differing points of views.  However, for better or worse, we’re all teammates. To the woke, you’ve got to realize, unless you get in the game ,you can't pull up like Steph Curry and hit the shot. You have to stop letting the game pass you by! You can be a one issue person but if you don’t get your hands dirty you're only an internet troll with no power!

Wait bad example......

So congratulations rainbow woke folk coalition! This is the gift you have given us and much like Michelle's expression when the mail order first lady gave her that Tiffanys' box, well, that's how the rest of us were looking at you during election night!

Before I conclude what may have seem like incessant rambling but was actually calculated thoughts served on a hot plate from your local Dennys,I would like to leave you with a quote from my favorite “Scholar”:Charles Barkley (more on him next month in the athlete activist column): "I may be wrong but I doubt it"


  1. No punches held in this one!!! Boom well done! I would though like to see what other solutions can be created if one chooses not to rage against the machines. Maybe a "Part 2" is needed- CgN

    1. Sorry Khalil you are lost in the sauce (or one letter off). Please read some James Baldwin to clear your mind.