Monday, December 28, 2009

Random and Obscure Animated Characters That You May or May Not Care About (Entry # 67)

Subject: Bubba The Cave Duck                                                                     

Show: Ducktales (Whoo Hoo!!)

Infamous For: Creating the annoying yet                           
catchy "Three Cheers For Bubba Duck"anthem
which is currently playing in hell as we

Last Seen: Acting as a creative director for the ill-fated
"Caveman" show that even he refused to watch.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Elephant and The Ocelot

One day, a pompous elephant was walking through the jungle. Now this elephant would take daily walks in hopes that the other animals would be in awe at his grand presence. He would laud in the accolades bestowed upon him.These compliments would do nothing more than feed his already massive ego. On this particular walk however, he spotted an ocelot tangled in a nearby tree.Now usually, the elephant would ignore such a small creature, however, he saw this as a great opportunity to garner praise from the rest of the animals. More importantly though, he believed that the ocelot would owe him a favor if ever the elephant needed one.The elephant proceeded to extend his trunk, grab the ocelot, and gently place her on the ground."Oh thank you oh merciful and kind elephant," the ocelot said sheepishly. The elephant simply nodded. So pompous was this elephant that he even failed to give the thankful ocelot eye contact. Confused by his reaction, the Ocelot scurried away into the jungle bushes.
Some weeks had past and the tale of the elephant's actions had spread throughout the jungle.Creatures high and low had heard about the elephant's perceived act of nobility. He had gained so much notoriety that the loacl hunters belived that the capture of this beast would be a great accomplishment.
The hunters procceded to set an elaborate trap to seize the elephant.True to the hunters' intentions, they had succeded in capturing the creature. The elephant let out a mighty roar, hoping that any of the jungle's animals would come to his aid. Unfortunately, they all were too busy in their personal affiars to attend to him.
At that instance, the ocelot walked towards the commotion. Shocked at her discovery, she quickly began knawing at the trap. To the the dismay of both creatures, the strands of the net were too strong for her to chew through. Growing every so impatient and enrarged, the elphant shouted, "You incompetent imp! I should have known such a creature as yourself could never aid me in my time of need! I should have never assisted you during your instance of peril." Saddend by this revelation, the ocelot distraughtly walked away, leaving the elephant to its' ineveitable fate. Realizing the error of his ways, the elephant began to whisper to himself before the hunters came to claim their prize:

Those Who Aid Others In Expectations of Returned Favors are Usually Disappointed.

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Pish Posh,
Pay Them No Mind Dear...
How can I not be in tuned to You?
Just look at your radio knobs.
And I've Grown Accustomed to the Fact
That Your Alphabet Only Contains 25 Letters
Because Someone Must Have Thrown Your D's
Onto Someone Else.....
I tell Her I Go For The Food
But We All Know, Their Little Chickens
Taste Like The Sky Fell on Them

My First Haiku

Standing Ovation

Jesus is Black, Sexual

Tonight's Slam Winner

Leaking Faucet

The Persistent, Formulaic Hammering Of
Throbbing, Rudimentary Compulsion
Just Reminds Me How Much I
Miss The Ocean...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Art of the Matter: Lois Lane

By D.S. Williams

Maybe I was too occupied with being.... Preoccupied.
2 busy Wearing a Watch Made By procrastination...
You know the model: The One Where
One Hand Holds Back Years and the Other
Waves "Maybe Later"...
My "See You Soon"
Kept Being Pushed To the Rear,
Thinking That, that Space Would Never Be Reserved
Or I could Water That Wallflower
When I'm finished Whispering
In Other's Secret Gardens,
I guess they all fell on deaf fears..
Perhaps It Just Wasn't the right time,
You had Caught a ride with
The other time passengers,
Your scheduled departure
Was one Year ahead Of Mine,
Flash Forward....
Soooo, some planned spontaneity and a dab of
Shared Reminiscence,
produced a rendezvous
of familiar strangers, i knew you,
but I didn't Know You? Maybe?
So sparks was just a flicker and we blew it out
Before anything really had a chance
to light, you back to heading lines
and me to figuring out that my purpose
Was never mine in the first place, pretending
To Soar while I still Had on my training Wings..
hoping i would crash into someone...........
Two accidents later,I saw you among sirens
That alarmed at the sign of Sparks.
Yes, Crackling spilled drinks,
Intoxicated revelations, DJ Scratches
And a fevered itch.
I inched my way to the budding
illumination, only to find out, that his watch
was working just fine and realized that your
union with him was yesterdays' news....