But first, a word from the CogNegro!
On second thought, I'm going to sit this one out. This is all you Ji! You can cash me oussah if you need me!-CgN
But wait !
The Back Stabber Conundrum aka : You know damn well you were always plotting!
By: Khalil Hamiduddin
To answer the question is it ok to date someone your friend has previously had dealings or relations with the answer is… Its complicated. Complicated as in did your friend die because then and only then does that in my best john legend voice GIVE ME THE GREEN LIIIIIIGHT.Now now now some of you may be asking but K what if they never slept together well see that falls into the grey area of you probably really weren’t dating then and you probably never even meet them while they “dated” (celibates sit in the corner y’all are the exception) Having said that don’t lie to yourself. You know you were always looking and scheming, plotting, maybe even threw a word or 2 in there to precipitate their demise or as I like to call them to borrow a rap phrase sneak dissing and "subliminals". See most people think it’s only the lonely and miserable friend who wants everyone else to be lonely and miserable with them nope nope nope. Giving bad advice
Wrong
Wrong
I bet you’ve had your boy say: What she doesn’t do what man I wouldn’t put up with that ish.
Or your sister from another mister say: Oh word he did what girl I don’t even know why you dealing with that fool.They are plotting. Smiling in your face but all the time they want to take your place…
So let me know those of you in the backstabber conundrum what’s the end game are you going to be upfront with your “friend” and admit their ex is your soul mate and you're planning on moving to Atlanta to solve all of your problems.Or will you cut your friend off never tell them and they can find out when you post the engagement ring or beach side wedding photos of your magical romance.
I feel that if they weren't serious then it shouldn't matter, as long as you're not being sneaky about it. You never know where your true love Lies and I don't feel you should miss out on your blessing just because someone you care about happened to notice the blessing first.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I would hate to miss that opportunity because of something so small.
DeleteHey girl!!! You used my question yay! Lol I have mixed feelings about this topic like someone I know started dating her HS best friend ex bf and now she's married to the guy.. so what if she missed out on the love of her life? But I think it depends how deep your friend was also involved with that guy like were they in love or just dating? And you also should talk to your friend... Like you said we are all older now but it's just a weird topic if it's one of your homegirls it's probably not worth ruining that relationship. And girlllll i can relate to you when you said your friend went out with a guy you had a crush on! Lol i had this one girl do the same thing to me!!! I talked about how cute this guy was all the time around her next thing you know someone tells me SHE reached out to him and they went out on a date... but she did me a favor because she mentioned to him that I thought he was cute and he reached out to someone I hung with and got my number and I ended up snatching him right from her hahaha thanks girl! Lol ugh that just made me mad thinking about it! I stoped talking to the girl because if you were my friend you would of never been sneaky about a boy I liked I didn't even know him..but in an adult now lol
ReplyDeleteHey Alison! Thank s for watching as usual! Your comment was hilariously petty and I love it! LOL
Delete@Ji - I appreciate your exceptions to the rule. Codes are not static or set in stone, and they can evolve as we do. But it's stories like these that made our mothers and matriarchs (at least the ones in my life) give warnings like, "Don't talk to your friends about your man," which is sad, really, because friends are supposed to be the people in whom we can confide. **Living Single reference BONUS!!**
ReplyDelete@Khalil - If we have to be suspicious of our friends, then maybe we should reevaluate how freely that title is bestowed. When someone is a friend, I will not cross them. But if you're an associate or an acquaintance? I'll pull your coat tails out of common courtesy, but I owe you no allegiance.
- OM
OM thank you for your well thought out commentary! You made some excellent points. To this day I am always cautious about what I share with my friends. If it's someone I like and want a relationship with I don't share too much, but if it's just a fling I share a lil more.
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